Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I actually pay taxes

Holocaust survivor who was burned in Boulder: 'We are better than this' - NBC News

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

1.5 TB of James Webb Space Telescope data just hit the internet - theregister.com

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t cotton to rapists

Wake Forest baseball coach apologizes for homophobic slur caught on camera - The Washington Post

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

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I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand how hurricane paths work

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Person With Deadly Virus Visited Popular Hudson Valley Restaurant - Hudson Valley Post

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t buy bullshit

What are the challenges associated with the birth narratives of Jesus?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Hickman's just lost 95% of Arizona chickens to bird flu and says it will take 2 years to rebuild - KJZZ

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

How can you tell if someone is cunning?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I see through liars

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I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I can count

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I can read

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have a reading level above third grade

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: